The Bus Ride
by Rationale
Summary: Margaret find out what happened to Hawkeye on that fateful bus ride. For all you HM fans, this is another romance for you! FINAL CHAPTER ADDED Please, Please PLEASE R&R&R&R&R&R!
1. Just leave me alone!

Disclaimer: I don't own whoever made up Mash. If I did, this wouldn't be a fanfic, and Mash would never have ended!  
  
A/N: This takes place right after Hawkeye comes back to the 4077th, after the bus incident.  
  
"ATTENTION, ALL PERSONEL, INCOMING WOUNDED! COME AND GET EM!"  
  
Hawkeye sat up and groaned. He and BJ had come back from the Officers Club very late, and he had only managed a few hours of sleep. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He glanced over and saw his drinking partner still asleep.  
  
"BJ, wake up. We got wounded." When BJ didn't respond, he picked up a pillow and threw it at him. That woke him up.  
  
They threw they clothes on and ran outside to meet the helicopters.  
  
*~*~* IN OR *~*~*  
  
"Okay, this guy's done. Busboy, bring me a new patient, please," Hawkeye said as he snapped his gloves off. Soon, there was another patient on his table. Hawkeye stared into the face of a little Korean girl. She couldn't have been more than three.  
  
"Sir, this girl's village was bombed. She and her family were brought in because she and her father were wounded.  
  
Hawkeye froze. Memories flashed through his mind, of the baby on the bus. He was two shades paler than white, his eyes were wide, and his breathing was shallow.  
  
"Hawkeye, are you all right?" BJ's voice cut through Hawkeye's thoughts.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, BJ. Um, listen, BJ, would you take her? You're better at this surgery than I am."  
  
BJ looked over at Hawkeye, confusion written all over his face. "Hawkeye, you've done this kind of surgery tons of times. I'm no better at it than-"  
  
Hawkeye interrupted. "BJ, please. Just do this."  
  
BJ gave Hawkeye a puzzled look, than agreed. "All right Hawkeye. I don't know why you want me to do this, though."  
  
Relief rushed through Hawkeye. There was no way he could have operated on the kid without losing it. He was acutely aware, though, that everyone in the room was giving him strange looks. They thought he was crazy. Maybe he was.  
  
THAT NIGHT  
  
Hawkeye woke up that night in a cold sweat. He sat up, breathing fast, trying to catch his breath. He looked around, glad to see that everyone was still asleep. After a few minutes, he fell back into a fitful sleep.  
  
THE NEXT MORNING  
  
The next morning, Hawkeye dragged himself over to the Mess Tent for some coffee. He was so tired; he hadn't had a decent nights sleep in a week. He sat down, next to BJ and across from Margaret. They looked up when he sat heavily on the bench.  
  
"Hawkeye, are you feeling okay? Did you sleep at all last night?" Margaret asked in a concerned voice.  
  
"Yes, Margaret, I'm fine. I didn't sleep much last night. That's all."  
  
Margaret gave BJ a look that said that she didn't believe him. BJ looked from her to Hawkeye, then said, 'Well, I'd better get going. I have Post-Op duty."  
  
Hawkeye said, "Have fun," and gulped his coffee. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, until Margaret broke the silence.  
  
"Hawkeye, tell me the truth. Is there something wrong with you? You've been acting strange ever since you came back from R&R. Then yesterday, in OR, you wouldn't treat that little Korean girl. What's wrong?" she asked. Hawkeye started to answer, but Margaret interrupted. "And don't tell me nothing is wrong. It's obvious something is bothering you."  
  
Hawkeye was starting to get agitated. "I keep telling you guys, there is nothing wrong with me. That is, other than what is normally wrong with me," he said, trying to use humor to convince Margaret he was okay. The look on her face didn't change at all.  
  
"Hawkeye, look, don't try to fool me. I can see it as plain as day: you're upset. Please, tell me what's wrong."  
  
Hawkeye said angrily, "Will you just leave me alone! There is nothing wrong with me. The only thing wrong with me is that no one will stop bothering me! Just leave me alone!" And with that, he stood up and stormed out of the Mess Tent.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! I'm not posting the next chapter until I get 5 reviews. Yes, I know, I'm mean and evil, but oh well. I really like reviews, so please please please please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. It's all my fault

A/n: Thank you for the reviews! Since you were all sooo nice, I'm going to post the next chapter. Please tell me if I should continue it, or whatever you want, Ok?? I hope you like the chapter! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Unfazed by Hawker's outburst, Margaret stood up and walked after him. He was sitting on his cot, in the Swamp. She walked up, and touched his shoulder. He didn't look at her, just stared straight ahead.  
  
"Hawkeye, I-" she stopped, unsure how to say what she felt. She was beginning to get upset. She knew something was wrong, and she wanted to help him, but he wasn't letting her. She also knew that whatever was troubling him was serious.  
  
"Margaret, please. Just leave me alone. I don't want to talk to anyone," he said quietly. The anger had left his voice, leaving tiredness and defeat. This made Margaret even more determined to find out what was wrong with Hawkeye.  
  
"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. Please, Hawkeye. Tell me. You haven't been acting like yourself. You won't talk to anyone, even BJ. You don't do anything but mope around the compound!"  
  
Hawkeye was angry again. No one would leave him alone! That was all he wanted. He had a right to "mope", after what he had seen, what he had caused that day. He stood up, and whirled around to face her. She could see the anger on his face. His cerulean blue eyes were haunted.  
  
"Fine, you want to know what's been bothering me? You want to know why I didn't operate on that little girl in OR? It's because I killed a little girl. She's dead because of me!" He stopped, realizing what he had said. He hadn't meant to say that.  
  
Margaret stared, shocked, at Hawkeye. "W-what did you say?"  
  
Hawkeye stared back at her, then sat down, his head in his hands. "You heard me. I killed a little girl. About the same age as the one in OR."  
  
Margaret got up and sat next to him. "Oh, Hawkeye. What happened? Please, tell me."  
  
Hawkeye sighed, then said quietly. "You remember the bus ride back from R&R?"  
  
"Yes, but what does that have to do with-" Margaret stopped as realization dawned on her. "You're talking about the baby on the bus? Hawkeye, how was that your fault?"  
  
Hawkeye looked up at her. There were tears shining in his eyes that he was struggling to hold back. He swallowed the lump in his through, closed his eyes, and said, "I told the mother to keep the baby quiet. She smothered the baby because I told her to keep it quiet. It's my fault. The baby is dead because of me." He stared miserably ahead, both very upset and very relieved to have finally told someone what he had done. Margaret stared at him, shocked by what he had said. "Hawkeye, it wasn't your fault. You didn't make the mother do anything. She made that choice, not you."  
  
Hawkeye looked over at her. His breath shuddered in and out. A single tear made its way down his cheek. He closed his eyes to hold in the rest. Margaret wrapped her arms around him. She rubbed his back, trying to calm him down. "Shh, shh. Just let it go. Let it out, Hawkeye." When she said that, he couldn't hold in the tears anymore.  
  
Margaret sat, hugging Hawkeye, trying to comfort him.  
  
"Hawkeye, it wasn't your fault." He pulled away from her, anguish in his eyes.  
  
"How can you say that? It's all my fault. The mother only did it because I said to keep the baby quiet."  
  
Margaret shook her head. "No, Hawkeye. It wasn't your fault. You didn't make the mother do anything. She killed her own child. You didn't. It's not your fault. Any of it." Hawkeye just sat, staring straight ahead. Suddenly he turned and looked at her.  
  
"You're the only person who I've told." He felt so much better, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you thought you could tell me. I've told you a lot of things. It's only about time you returned the favor." She said the last part a little hesitantly, hoping he would think it was funny. She was rewarded with a small smile.  
  
"Come on. I think you and I have duty in Post Op. Time to relieve BJ." She stood up. Hawkeye looked up at her, then slowly stood up.  
  
"Al right. Let's go." They walked over towards Post-Op. Just before they went through the door, Hawkeye stopped.  
  
"Margaret?" "Yeah, Hawkeye?" He smiled at her. "Thanks."  
  
She smiled in return. "No problem.  
  
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and they went into Post-Op.  
  
THE END (or to be continued, who knows?)  
  
A/N: Well, what do you think? Should I continue it and make it an H/M????? Or should I just leave it??? Anything I should change? Oh, BTW, I know Hawkeye was supposed to visit Sydney and stuff like that, but I took that part out, it didn't really go w/ the plot, ok?? R&R, please, please, please, please, please?????????????? Thank you for reading, and please read my other M*A*S*H* fanfics!! 


	3. Thunder, Lightning, and Sunshine

Disclaimer: I don't own this because if I did MASH never would have ended, I'm not getting paid because if I was I would have money, and I'm actually flat broke, and I promise to put the characters back after I'm done playing with them.  
  
Chapter Three: Thunder, Lightning, and Sunshine  
  
Hawkeye peered out of the Mess tent. It was pouring rain outside, and you could hear the thunder and see the lighting in the night sky. He ducked his head back inside, and sat back down.  
  
"Some storm," he said. "I haven't seen one this bad since last year."  
  
BJ nodded in agreement. "I know. I'll be surprise if the camp hasn't flooded by the end of the week."  
  
Hawkeye chuckled. "Hey, if it floods maybe we'll all be swept back home by the waves!"  
  
Charles said, "If only, Pierce."  
  
Colonel Potter said, "It's bound to stop soon. It's been raining for five blessed days!"  
  
'I hate storms. Especially thunderstorms. They're so loud." Margaret said in a quiet voice.  
  
The group stayed and chatted for a few more minutes. The storm seemed to get increasingly louder and fiercer. After a few minutes, Margaret stood up.  
  
"Well, I'm getting tired. I'm going back to my tent." She spoke calmly, but Hawkeye detected a hint or fear in her voice. He realized that she was probably scared because of loud noises. She left the Mess tent, all but running to the safety of her tent.  
  
"I'm tired too. I'm going to head on back to the Swamp and try to sleep. See yah later."  
  
Hawkeye stood up and left, but instead of heading towards the Swamp, he headed towards Margaret's tent.  
  
He hesitated, then knocked firmly on the door.  
  
"Leave me alone, please," came a trembling voice from inside.  
  
"Uh uh, didn't work for me, and it won't work for you." And with that he opened the door and ducked inside. Margaret was sitting on her bed, wrapped in a blanket, with her knees hugged to her chest. A crash of thunder sounded, and she cringed. He immediately went over and sat next to her.  
  
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the Swamp, or in the Mess tent with the others?"  
  
"Well, I was on my way to the Swamp, but I got washed over here by the rain," he said, trying to get a smile out of her. It didn't work. So, he decided to try and be serious.  
  
"The truth is, I know you hate storms like this, so I decided to drop in and see if you were all right.  
  
Another crash of thunder sounded, and she unconsciously moved towards him. He wrapped his arms around her, and rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. She moved closer to him. He started to rock her, and began to sing.  
  
"It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring. He went to bed, and bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning."  
  
He looked at her, hoping it had cheered her up.  
  
"My mom used to sing that to me, whenever there was a thunderstorm. I'd always hide under the sheets. She'd come in, and start singing this to me. It was the only way to get me to come out."  
  
She smiled. "Well, it worked on me." Just then another crash came. She cringed, and he hugged her tighter, whispering soothing words to her while he ribbed her back. Slowly she began to relax.  
  
"Thank you, Hawkeye. I was so scared, I hate thunder. It's so loud."  
  
"No problem. Just returning the favor."  
  
She smiled up at him, and laid her head on his chest, grateful for the feeling of security and warmth.  
  
Hawkeye sat, hold he him, thinking. Suddenly, he spoke.  
  
"Margaret?"  
  
She looked up at him. "Yeah, Hawkeye?"  
  
He leaned in towards her. He waited to see if she would pull away. She didn't. He pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. After a moment he pulled back, and hesitantly at her.  
  
She smiled back, and kissed him. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer towards her. After a minute they broke apart, slightly breathless.  
  
"Margaret?"  
  
"Yeah, Hawkeye?"  
  
"I, uh. That is, um. You see, I...," He stopped, for the first time flustered around a women.  
  
She gave him and exasperated glance. "Spit it out already, Pierce!'  
  
"I love you."  
  
She stared at him, completely shocked. "You what?"  
  
He looked deep into her blue eyes. "Major Margaret Houlihan, I'm in love with you."  
  
She was shocked. Whatever she had expected him to say, this was certainly not one of them. She thought desperately for an answer, then settled on the only one she could think of.  
  
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce, I'm I love with you too."  
  
Now it was his turn to be shocked. "You do? Really?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
Hawkeye spoke slowly, "Wow. I mean, um. Margaret, I, uh," She stopped his stuttering with a kiss. When they pulled apart, she looked into his cerulean blue eyes.  
  
"I love you."  
  
He smiled at her. "I love you too, Margaret."  
  
They sat, in each other's arms, while the storm died down. That morning, the sun broke through the clouds, shining its light for the first time in days. There was sunshine in the camp, and sunshine in both their lives. 


End file.
